


Closet Case (Lost Fanfic Extract)

by SarahLannister



Series: Outtakes, Unused & Alternate Takes- Fandom Specific [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Dean Winchester Comes Out As Bisexual, Dean Winchester Struggling With His Bisexuality, Destiel - Freeform, Emotional Baggage, F/M, Just Some LBGTQ Stuff, LBGTQ, Light Angst, M/M, OC Drops A Truth Bomb, Sam Gets Cockblocked, Sam is Thirsty AF, Some Good Lines, Supportive Little Brother Sam, Unused Scene In A Fanfic That I Lost When My Laptop Crashed, bisexual oc, coming out scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-28 09:03:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17784488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SarahLannister/pseuds/SarahLannister
Summary: For nearly 40 years, Dean has harboured a secret... one that could irreversably affect everything. After things get'weird'; with Castiel one night, everything changes and Dean can no longer deny who he is...(Part of a fic I managed to salvage after a computer crash. Originally part of a story called My Saving Grace)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MaggiesAngel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaggiesAngel/gifts).



> A/N: ***rises from the dead like Mushu* I LIVVVE!**  
>  Aloha, peeps. Been too long since I posted but rest assured, new chapters of "Edge of Seventeen" will be up soon as I get back into the swing of things following some health issues I had towards the end of last year.  
> Found this pretty great scene from a 'lost' fanfic that I thought would go well in the "Outtakes" collection so here, chew on this nice canape of a fic whilst I cook up some other ideas. :)  
> For all my Destiel fans and for MaggiesAngel who is one of the sweetest people I know. Thanks for your continued support, dear!
> 
> To all who reads this, enjoy!

**CLOSET CASE**

Sam moaned softly and closed his eyes, relishing the feel of Grace's fingers gently caressing his scalp as she slowly kissed him. It had been nearly twenty years and yet her touch felt warmly familiar, stirring the same old feelings from that one glorious summer so long ago.

His hands went to her hips, cupping her buttocks as he deftly lifted her up onto the kitchen counter-top, causing her to gasp. Seizing the moment, he slipped his tongue into her mouth and deepened their cinch, caressing the base of her spine through the thin material of her t-shirt. She groaned with pleasure, nibbling on his bottom lip in the way she knew would drive him insane as she wound her legs around his waist and pulled him closer.

Sweeping his hands under her shirt, Sam was all set to tug it up over her head when a loud cough caused him to jump. Startled, he whirled around so fast he stumbled and had to grab the back of a chair to steady himself.

“Don't fuck where we eat, Sammy.” Dean deadpanned, standing near the fridge with his arms crossed, his expression peeved.

Flustered, Sam ran a hand through his hair and gave an embarrassed chuckle, staring at the floor.

“Dean! I...Uh.. thought you were on a beer run!”

“Clearly, I got back just before you violated our kitchen.”Dean glanced at Grace, who was still sitting on the countertop fixing her shirt and looking thoroughly unimpressed with the sudden interruption.

“I need to speak to Sam. It's kinda important.”

Sam sighed and cast Grace a sheepish smile. “Can you give us a minute?”

She nodded and hopped off the counter. Standing on her toes to reach him, Grace kissed Sam on the lips, lingering just enough to make him groan with longing before heading in the direction of his bedroom.

Sitting down in the chair he'd pulled from the table, Sam gazed after her with a helpless expression, biting his lip.

“I swear to _God_ , Dean, this better be good!”He gritted out.

Frowning, Dean slapped his brother hard upside the head and set the beer down on the table with an audible thud.

“Can you stop thinking with your dick for one damn minute and _look at me_?!”

His voice came out a lot more strained than usual and this brought Sam's mind out of the lustful cloud it had been swimming in for the past hour. He stared at Dean with confusion, watching as he slumped in the chair opposite and scrubbed at his eyes with the palms of his hands.

“Dean?” Sam reached over and placed a hand on his brother's shoulder only for it to be forcefully shrugged away as Dean slumped forward and buried his head in his hands. His shoulders heaved with the strain of ill suppressed sobs and he was breathing hard.

“This...this is hard for me to say, Sammy..” Dean's voice cracked with emotion as he rubbed his face vigorously, wiping away any trace of tears before turning to face the younger Winchester. After a brief moment to catch his breath, Dean exhaled sharply and clenched his eyes shut.

“...So I'll just say it outright. I-I've been struggling' lately.”

“Struggling with what, Dean?” Sam said quietly, shifting closer in a bid to offer comfort.

“In case you haven't noticed, Cas is pissed at me. Can't say I blame him. I'm pissed at myself...Christ, why is this so _hard_? Argh!” Dean thumped his fist off the table and let out a anguished yell.

“Talk to me, Dean. Let it all out.”

Reaching for his beer, Dean twisted the cap off and downed half the bottle in one gulp, wiping his mouth with his sleeve. “Things got weird last Friday.”He said slowly, staring at the clock on the opposite wall, unable to look Sam in the eye.

“Weird? How?”

“Cas and I... _made out_.”

It took a moment for the words to register in Sam's mind. He blinked at Dean, waiting for a punchline that never came. Instead, Dean slowly turned to face him at last and it was clear from the defeated, pained expression on his face that it was no joke. Stunned by the revelation, Sam shrank back in his chair and stared at his brother in utter disbelief.

“Wait, _seriously_?!”

“Yeah.”Dean said mutedly, finishing the last of his beer. “Don't ask me how it happened because I don't fucking know but...well, we were just hanging out Friday night, watching Jeopardy and chilling on the couch-”

“Wait, where was I when this all went down?”

“You were out picking up the pizza. Sam, please, let me finish!”

“Right, right!” Sam straighten up and nodded, listening intently.

“Uhm..” Dean rubbed his nose; “Anyways, at some point during the show, Cas just turns and looks at me with those big ol' baby blues and-and...I can't explain it, Sam, but at that moment I just...I...”

A soft smile crossed Sam's lips and he once more placed a hand on his brother's back. This time, he didn't object to the comforting touch, the tension in his shoulders easing just enough.

“Let me guess- you finally stopped kidding yourself?”

“What? Sam-?”

“It's okay, Dean. I've seen the way he looks at you. I'm not blind! You love him, don't you?”

Dean stared intensely at him. After a long silence, he nodded slowly and sighed deeply.

“Yeah. Yes, Sam. I fucking love that feathery bastard and...and it's killing me to admit it.”

“ _Why?_ ” Sam rubbed Dean's back soothingly; “Dean, it doesn't matter to me if you're into guys-”

“That's the thing, Sammy! No matter how hard I try, I just can't get over myself and admit that fact. And the truth? The truth is... I've never been _straight_ to begin with. Not really. I've tried, Sammy. Tried to hide my feelings, push 'em down inside until I can crush 'em under my boot but-but I can't do it anymore. All the women, the flings, the one-night-stands...all just to kid myself.”He pinched the bridge of his nose and groaned.

“Jesus, if Dad could hear me now, he'd rise from the dead and beat my ass seven ways from Sunday-!”

“Dean...” Sam said slowly; “...This may sound harsh but Dad was a _dick_. You don't answer to anyone. Not him, not me. Don't let the words of a dead man stop you from living your life. Yes, Dad wasn't exactly the paragon of love and equality at times but hey, so what if you're gay, bi or whatever. You're my brother and I won't love you any less for who you choose to go to bed with.”

Dean wanted to speak but only raspy vowel sounds escaped him as he struggled to fight back a fresh wave of tears. This time, however, he felt safe in the company of Sam and let them flow freely, his shoulders shuddering as they sat together processing the news.

It was a while before either of them spoke. Sam was the first to breach the silence, taking a beer and twisting it open. “Still doesn't explain why Cas has been glaring daggers at you all week..”

“Ahh, that. Like I said, I've been having trouble admitting things to myself.” Dean sighed; “After-after we... _untangled ourselves_ ...Cas was so happy. Sam, you should've seen him. Like a kid at Christmas. And I went and fucked it up by acting all ' _No Homo'_ and refusing to talk about it. I'm an idiot.”

“Well, that's _obvious!_ ” Grace's voice, dripping with sarcasm, came from the doorway, causing Dean to turn his head so fast he nearly gave himself whiplash.

“Grace! How long have you been standing there?!” Sam gasped, moving to stand.

The young brunette smiled impishly.

“Long enough... and, hey;”she nodded towards Dean, who currently resembled a deer caught in the headlights; “I don't judge, man. Chill!” Sauntering into the kitchen, she perched herself on the edge of the table and leaned in close to him.

“Trust me, Deano, I know _exactly_ what you're going through.”

“You do?” Dean said faintly, horrified that she knew his deepest secret.

“Yeah, you do?” Sam parroted, bewildered.

Grace chuckled and brushed a lock of hair behind her ear. “I'm gonna let you boys in on a little secret of my own. It's not something I go screaming to the heavens...but I'm not ashamed of it either. Still, I think it'll help.”

“Let's hear it.” Dean sighed, pushing the pack of beer towards her. She declined and instead drummed her fingers on the tabletop, looking down at the floor for a moment.

“It might surprise you to know that I in fact lost my virginity to a woman.”

Sam nearly choked on his beer. “Wait, _what_?!” He sputtered, wide-eyed as he wiped his chin with his sleeve. Dean narrowed his eyes at her, giving her a quizzical expression.

“Hold on, I though you and Sam-”

“Nope. Sam's never gotten in my pants. Not for want of trying, though, heh. Ohh, if only you hadn't walked in earlier..”

“Is there a point to all this?” Dean groaned, rubbing his temples.

“Dean, I know what it's like to have doubts about your sexuality. Trust me on this.” Grace said kindly, patting his hand. “I was nineteen years old, a farm girl in the big city of Michigan for college and I knew _no-one_. Seriously, I was completely alone, living in a shitty dorm and barely scraping by on a student loan. I never expected to fall for a woman but hey, life is full of surprises.”

Sam sat back down and stared at her, dumbfounded. “Uhm... h-how..?”

Grace shrugged.

“How did it happen? Simple, really. I wasn't looking for a date at the time but as luck would have it, I went to karaoke in a drag bar one night and...well, the rest is history. Looking back, I can see it for what it was- a year long fling with someone who taught me a lot of wonderful, _kinky_ things but it wasn't love. The physical side of it was great, sure, but there was a lot of drama and after it ended, I learned a lot about who I am as a person. Yes, I struggled with the idea of being attracted to a woman for a couple of weeks but hey, no-one chooses who they fall for, it just happens.”

“Easy for you to say.” Dean sniffed, shaking his head. “It's different for women-”

“How so? How is it any different, Dean?” Grace said pointedly.

“I-well... _sh-shut up_!”

“I get you're having an existential crisis right now, Dean, but you really shouldn't sweat it. I've only been here a week and even I can see how great you and Castiel work together. Yes, it will take time for you to work through your long-standing insecurities but seriously, talk to Cas about it. He seems like a patient guy even if he _is_ angry at you right now. I know it's scary. It's way out of your comfort zone and that's okay. Sometimes, you need to shake things up a notch because let me tell you, there is a _whole galaxy_ of wonderful things outside that tiny little box you're so fond of living in. Step outside once in a while and you might find you like it there.”

Grace stood and took Dean's hand, pulling him to his full height and embracing him in a tight hug.

“Always remember- _'a life lived in fear is a life half lived'._ ”

“Came up with that one all by yourself?” Dean drawled, arching an eyebrow and awkwardly returning the hug.

“ _Strictly Ballroom,_ actually, but the logic still stands. Fuck what anyone else thinks! If you love him, that's all that matters. If anyone gives you grief for that, you punch them right in the dick, Dean.”

Parting from her embrace, Dean patted Grace's shoulders and shuffled his feet awkwardly.

“Heh... thanks, Gracie.”

“Anytime. A little advice from my Dad that might help: _Never go to bed on a fight_. Talk to Castiel.”

“I-I will.” Dean nodded. Glancing around the kitchen, he grinned at Sam and rubbed the back of his head. “I'll let you two...yeah, no, just not in the kitchen, heh!”

“Urgh, fine, whatever. C'mon, Grace..”Sam said, rolling his eyes before he swept her clean off her feet, slinging her over his shoulder as she let out a squeal; “Might want to put on some music, Dean, it's gonna get _loud._ ”

Dean wrinkled his nose. “Sam!”

“Hey, I've been waitin' twenty years for this! Shut up!”

“Urgh, have fun.”

Sam grinned and gave a scout's salute, Grace waving as he all but sprinted towards the bedroom and out of sight, leaving Dean to stand alone in the kitchen and collect his thoughts.

One by one, he downed the last of the beers and slowly worked up the courage to take the bull by the horns and talk to Castiel. Lingering outside the guest room that had been serving as the angel's home for the last few weeks, Dean swallowed back a hard lump of trepidation in his throat.

He raised his hand to knock on the door but as he did so, the door swung open abruptly and Castiel peered out.

“What do you want?” Castiel said warily, narrowing his eyes at the wayward Winchester.

 

Dean gulped and forced a weak smile.

_“Can we talk?”_

 

* * *

 


	2. Chapter 2

** CHAPTER TWO **

“There's nothing to talk about, Dean, as you've made so abundantly clear. Goodnight-”Castiel moved to close the door in his face but Dean slammed his foot in the frame and pushed, causing Castiel to stumble.

Stepping into the room, Dean forcefully shut the door behind him and stared down the angel, a fire in his belly as he backed Castiel into a corner, blocking him with no escape.

“ _ Goddamn you, Castiel..! _ ” he hissed through his teeth, grabbing the angel by his trench coat lapels and lifting him clean off his feet as he pinned him to the wall with every ounce of strength in him. A flicker of fear flashed in Castiel's eyes but he soon found his bearings and grabbed Dean by the neck in a choking hold.

“Don't start another thing you don't intend to finish, Dean!”

“Sonofa-!”Dean growled, wriggling out of the chokehold and pressing into Castiel, crushing his chest against him. Grabbing the angel's wrists, he pinned his arms and stared straight into those angry blue eyes that he loved so much, eyes that usually looked at him with care and affection but now burned with agitation.

There was only one thing Dean could do to prove himself, the only thing that mattered. With little care for subtle or gentleness, he pushed his mouth down on Castiel's in a bruising kiss that was as passionate as it was desperate. He could feel the angel struggle against him, Castiel responding by biting down hard on his bottom lip to the point that blood filled Dean's mouth.

He flinched, breaking the cinch just long enough to swipe his fingers over his lip. Castiel glared at him, looking wild and slightly deranged with specks of Dean's blood colouring his mouth.

“Cas..”

“Don't you  _ dare _ kiss me unless you mean it!” Castiel yelled furiously, shoving Dean out of the way and making for the door, only to be stopped as Dean dragged him down and pinned him to the floor. He knew it was a fruitless task- Castiel could throw him through the wall with a single wave of angelic power but as he lay squirming beneath him yelling obscenities, the angel didn't seem at all aware of that fact.

Dean couldn't help but smirk despite the pain in his stinging lip.

“Oh, I mean it, Cas. More than I've meant anything in my life!”

Castiel stopped squirming long enough to meet his gaze. “Dean, I swear, if you're joking-!”

“Funny, you have the power to nail me to the ceiling if you really wanted to and yet here you are, between my legs, pretending I have the upper hand. _Now_ who's joking?”

Castiel glowered up at Dean, grabbing a fistful of his shirt and wrenching him down until their noses practically touched. “You are, without a shadow of a doubt, the most  _ infuriating _ man I've ever met.”

“Love you too, Cas.” Dean chuckled softly, running a hand along the angel's jawline. “Sorry it took so long for me to see that...”

“How did we get to this point, Dean?” Castiel sighed, his initial anger slowly evaporating as his grip relaxed on Dean's shirt. “Love shouldn't be this complicated.”

“You're telling me! To be honest..” Dean exhaled, resting back on his haunches; “...I've never really been in love before. I mean, I've barely had a relationship last longer than six months, for cryin' out loud. You know me, Cas. I'm not good with all this touchy-feely sentimental crap. But I'm gonna try harder from now on, okay? No more pretending, no more games.”

“You... really mean that?” Castiel sat up gingerly.

“Yes. Yes, I do. Cas, I...I never really _ cared for someone _ until I met you.”

At that, the last of the animosity of the past week disappeared as Castiel's face broke into a wide smile. Dean's heart leapt at the sight of it and he felt all the tension leave his body, the stress of the past few days melting away as he lay down on the floor and rested his head on Castiel's chest, just like they had somehow found themselves on that fateful Friday night.

“Uhm, Dean?” Castiel said hesitantly, his voice bashful.

“Yeah?”

“Is this the part where we make up by engaging in passionate love-making?”

Dean's eyes widened. He'd only just gotten his head around the notion of kissing Castiel and now suddenly the idea of sex landed on the table. His mind began to run riot with all the new and exciting implications and he was mildly startled to find that for what it was worth, the idea of seeing him in the throes of passion was more appealing than he'd bargained on.

Clearing his throat awkwardly, Dean chuckled in spite of himself.

“If you want to, Cas.. heh..heh...uh...let's not rush it.”

“Fair enough.”

The angel was silent for a moment. Rolling onto his side, Dean propped himself on his elbows and gazed at him. Every inch of him ached with longing and the more he tried to block the thoughts of feeling Castiel quiver beneath him from entering his head, the more they tormented him. 

“Dean?”

“Mmm?”

“...The ceiling needs painting.”

Dean shook his head and laughed, running a hand through his hair. Yep, all was forgiven and order had been restored to the bunker. Getting to his feet, Dean pulled Castiel up and his hand lingered on the angel's for a moment, thumb circling patterns on the calloused skin. 

“I told Sam...” he said quietly, averting his gaze. “..About us. About Friday night...”

“I see. How did it go?”

Dean grinned and pulled Castiel into a hug, holding him tightly.

“Good. Great. So great.”

Castiel smiled serenely and pulled back just enough to tilt Dean's jaw up, his fingers caressing the thin layer of stubble on his chin. He leaned in and closed the gap between them by gently kissing the wound he had inflicted on Dean's lip, using his grace to heal it in an instant. With a longing sigh, Dean moved to deepen the kiss, closing his eyes and surrendering to the sweet touch that he'd so nearly pushed away with his own idiocy.

Without giving it too much thought, his hands moved up under Castiel's shirt, searching for the warm skin of his back. As his fingers caressed the angel's flesh, he was all too aware of the many battle scars hidden beneath the white fabric and his heart ached. Dean vowed there and then that as long as there was still breath in his lungs, nothing would ever add to that long list of scars etched into Castiel's skin ever again.

“Mmm, that feels nice..” Castiel murmured against Dean's lips, mimicking his actions as he fumbled with the thick red flannel shirt tucked into his jeans. With a rough tug, he managed to free the fabric from Dean's belt, his fingers brushing against the hard line of his hip.

“Ooh-hoo, Cas! That..that tickles!”

Castiel tilted his head to the side, intrigued. “I never took you for being ticklish, Dean.”

“You'll be surprised, Cas...”Taking a step forward, Dean shrugged out of his flannel and threw it over his shoulder, grinning as the back of Castiel's legs bumped into the edge of the bed and caused him to fall back onto the mattress...

 

* * *

 

  
  



End file.
